Dear Connor

Dear Connor,

Nine years ago, you came into my life and turned me into a mama. And, what a ride it's been! I remember being scared to death when I brought you home from the hospital. You were so tiny & helpless, and I was in charge of making sure you stayed alive. I had no idea what to do! Those first few months were rough. You had colic & I went through Postpartum Depression. We both cried...a lot. I made tons of mistakes. Heck, I still make mistakes now. That's the hard part about being an oldest child. You kind of end up being the guinea pig for your parents as they try to figure out what they're doing. Despite that, I think you're still turning into a pretty darn awesome (and handsome) young man...


You are a little smarty pants. In fact, you're probably too smart for your own good. And, you have a brain that never forgets...ever. In fact, you'll remind me of things that happened years before. I call you my little tape recorder because you remember things so well & can repeat them back word-for-word years in the future. Oh, you probably don't even know what a tape recorder is, do you? I guess I should call you my little voice recorder, so you know what I'm talking about. Speaking of technology, you're a wiz at it...just like your brothers.

You are very goal-oriented. You make a goal and then stick to it & do everything you can to accomplish it. For example, one day this past summer, I was watching some show on HGTV. You sat down by me & started watching it. When it was over, you said, "Mom, I'm going to work really hard at school so that I can get a scholarship to college. Then I won't have to waste my money on school & I can put a big down payment on a house when I get married." I'm pretty sure my jaw hit the floor. How many nine-year-olds say stuff like that? You've brought that goal up many times since then. One day, you came home with a spelling test that had a score of 16/20....your lowest score on a test ever. You were devastated by it. When I told you that 16/20 was still pretty good, you replied with, "I'll never get a scholarship if I keep getting grades like that! I have to get 100% from now on." Yep, you are definitely my child...that's for sure.

This goal-oriented stuff can obviously go a little too far. You are a perfectionist and, therefore, set some goals that are nearly impossible to achieve. When you don't reach some of them, you get discouraged & beat yourself up over it. Part of me wants to teach you to bring the bar down just a tad so that you won't have to be disappointed, but then part of me says, "What's so bad about shooting for the stars?" I'm pretty sure my parents thought I was a tad crazy when I came to them at your age and told them I wanted to be a TV Meteorologist. What if they had said, "Now Lindsay, that's a pretty ambitious goal, let's bring the bar down a little bit so you're not disappointed when it doesn't happen." They never did that though. They just always told me that I could do anything I set my mind to. So, that's what I'm trying to do with you. Hopefully, it's the right thing. See, there I go using you as my guinea pig again.

One thing you've really been goal-oriented with is Wresting. You have just always loved it & have made a goal to become a great wrestler. You work on it all the time. You always want to learn new moves & practice them until you can do them perfectly. This determination really showed in your last wrestling season when you didn't lose an single match the entire season. You were unstoppable.

Now, I can see you doing the same thing with Baseball. You've decided that you really like it & want to get better at it, and you're practicing a lot to get there. It's already paying off. You can throw twice as far as you did last year, & you are becoming a great batter.

Lately, you've also really become quite an outdoors boy. You love to be outside all the time. This is a new change from a year or two ago, when it was like pulling teeth to get you off the Wii and outside to play in the sunshine. But, now it's your favorite thing. You and your friends are always outside riding bikes or scooters, or making up fun little games to play.

When you're not outside, you're usually drawing. You are quite the little artist. You love to make up monsters & alien-looking things in your mind, and then draw them. If you have some paper & a pencil, you can entertain yourself for hours. Your sketches always have a story behind them too & you love to tell everyone about it.

You are becoming a much better reader. You've always been able to sound words out really well, but you've never been a very fast reader. But, with a lot of extra work & determination, you have improved tremendously.

You have become such a great help to me lately. You are (usually) willing to help me with things...like getting Viv out of her crib when she wakes up from a nap, or putting her in her high chair when she's hungry, or grabbing a diaper for me when one is needed (you absolutely refuse to change the diaper though.) I've even let you babysit a few times when I needed to run to a neighbor's house or take something to the school. And, guess what, no one died! I consider that a huge success!

You are a good brother (most of the time.) You get great joy out of torturing Aiden now-and-then, but you're sweet as can be to Cohen & Vivvie. They all adore you & really look up to you. Which is why I'm constantly reminding you to be a good example...yes, another pitfall of being the oldest child.

You are such a great friend to everyone around you. I have had more than one teacher comment on how you are really a leader when it comes to your peers. You make sure everyone feels included, and you are always encouraging your friends to do the right thing. I really hope this continues into your teenage years. Oh, and I should mention that you're still quite the little ladies' man. We know of several gals that have little crushes on you, and some of them are already calling you to see if you want to "hang out." Haha! Apparently, the "cooties" that infested the 3rd grade when I was there are no longer a problem?!?

You and I are very similar. Okay, let's put it this way...if I were a boy, I'd be you. That's how similar we are! We have the exact same personality to a T...we're both stubborn & we LOVE to be right. Because of this, we butt heads...a lot. Your dad can handle you so much better than I can. He is always able to calm you down, whereas I can't. When I asked him what his secret was, he replied, "I've had 11 years experience with you...that's my secret." Oh how true it is! Yes, you are my "Mini Me." Sorry. Hehe!

We love you so much Connor! Thank you for putting up with all my motherly faults & mistakes. I must admit that you do put up with them reasonably well. I love your happy little smile & dimples. You can light up a room with your laugh. You are so smart & fun...and you're always trying to do the right thing. Thank you for being our first child. I love you more than words can say. --Mom