Crazy Crap My Kiddos Say

My kids have some pretty awesome one-liners from time-to-time.  They constantly keep my laughing & on my toes--because you never know what they're going to say.  Here are some of the latest gems...

Both Connor & Cohen filled out questionnaires in school about me for Mother's Day.  Here they are.  I love these things!  They are seriously one of the best Mother's Day presents out there.  So, for all you dads out there that are always trying to figure out something cute for your kids to do on Mother's Day, just ask your kids these questions & then print them out for your wife.  You wives could do the same thing for your hubs on Father's Day.  In fact, I think I may have to do that myself.  Anyway, you decide how well Connor & Cohen know me.  First up--Connor:

My mom likes to eat: Pizza
My mom's favorite hobby is: Do weather
If my mom had an afternoon all to herself, she would: Go take a nap!
If she could go anywhere on vacation, she would go to: St. George
My mom's favorite thing about me is: I am helpful
Something my mom does to help me is: Correct my homework
My favorite thing about my mom is: She is nice, helpful, fun & playful

Pretty sure the last one is my favorite answer since just a few days earlier I was "evil" and "the worst mom ever."

And here's Cohen's questionnaire:

My mom looks prettiest when: She is on TV
My mom's favorite food is: Mac & Cheese
She is happy when: She gets decorations
My mom is: 4-years-old
If my mom could go anywhere, she would go: to Grandma & Grandpa's house
Her best friend is:  Daddy
Her job is: She cleans the house
I love my mom because: She's my mom!

First of all, I didn't even realize that Cohen knew I was on TV.  Second, I despise Mac & Cheese.  Third, as much as I like going to Grandma & Grandpa's house, if I could go anywhere I think I'd probably pick Hawaii.  But, he did get a few right...Mike *is* my best friend & decorations do bring joy to my heart.  :)

Okay, so there are the Mother's Day questionnaires.  Now onto some other random things my kids have said & done that have brought a smile to my face:

We have a trip to Disneyland planned that is coming up soon.  I made the mistake of telling my kids about it.  Now every time I ask Cohen to put on his shoes & get ready to go in the car, he yells, "Yay!  It's time to go to Disneyland!!!"  You can imagine his disappointment when I tell him we're just going to the grocery store or to the elementary school to pick up his brother.

Aiden informed me the other day that he thinks the name Vivienne is a dumb name and that we should have named Vivvie a better name--like Maria.

Connor was walking home from school the other day with a bunch of neighbor kids and one of the neighborhood moms.  The kids were complaining about it being so hot outside.  It was a whopping 87 degrees.  That's when Connor said, "I'd rather take my clothes off and be nude than feel this hot!"  Nude??  Really?  Who says that?  Nude?!?  What happened to a simple "naked?"  Nude?!?

Speaking of Connor, he wrote a poem at school the other day which he titled "I Wish I Wasn't So Handsome."  It was all about the woes of having girls think you're cute & chasing you at recess.  Ahhh, the problems of a 3rd Grade boy.  Well, at least I don't have to worry about his self esteem.  Humility on the other hand...

The other day, we were trying to quickly get out the door to go to one of Connor's Little League games.  I asked Aiden if he could run upstairs to my closet & grab my gold flats.  He came down the stairs with 4" black heels.  Yep, he's a man!

Yesterday, I told Cohen he only had four days left of school until summer break.  He got a puzzled look on his face and then said, "And then I go get a job?"

Aiden came up to me about a month ago & asked, "Mom, am I cool or stupid?"  I replied with, "Of course you're cool."  Then he said, "That answer is correct!"  Oh, I didn't realize I was on a game show.  Glad I got it right!

About a week ago, Connor & Aiden were talking at the dinner table about all their "battle wounds" they had received while playing in the neighborhood that day.  Connor kept going on & on about everything that had happened to him, "I got a scrape on my leg. I rolled my ankle. I somehow ended up with a bruise on this shin. I bent my thumb backwards..."  That's when Aiden jumped in with, "That's nothing Connor...I got kicked in the wiener!"  I guess that "battle wound" trumps all others.

And, last but certainly not least (and probably a little sacrilegious)...I was putting a picture of Christ up in our front room.  Cohen walked in the room & said, "Mom, that's Jesus!  He died for us."  I said, "You're right Cohen.  He did die for us!"  I was having a proud parent moment--until Cohen continued, "Yep...someone shot him."  Ummmmmmm, apparently we need another lesson about Jesus Christ's death?!?  What the...

So there you go!  Crazy crap my kiddos say!  Love, love, LOVE them to pieces for being the comic relief in my life!  They are the best!  --Lindsay